If you’ve been following along with this blog for the past year (Happy Anniversary Being Moody! haha) or are just now joining in, you can see a common theme among my posts — love, especially romance.
There are a few reasons for this (1) it is something that I feel lots of people, especially my female readers, can relate to, (2) it is a big thing God has been changing and growing me in, and (3) because I am a huge, and honestly, crazy romantic.
I love romantic movies, hearing about my friends’ relationships, and even more so being loved by someone.
If I am being honest, this semester of singleness has been hard. Not because I have a line of suitors waiting to take me out but because I have experienced a new kind of loneliness. This year I’m not taking hard classes, and I’m living off campus which adds up to me having a lot of free/alone time which equates to boredom/loneliness. I’ve been trying to use my time well, investing in relationships and spending more time with the Lord, but it’s still hard and lonely. With the availability of time, it’s been harder for me to not think about boys.
Before, I used to always be texting or snap chatting a boy, not having to commit, being able to flirt without consequences. While many people don’t see a problem with this, my heart was in a bad position and I was not loving these guys well. I wasn’t treating them like fellow children of God/ brothers in Christ. I just wanted to be complimented and adored by them.
With my commitment for the year, I decided I wasn’t going to be actively engaging with guys and/or leading them on (meaning I wasn’t going to be flirting it up). While I have not perfectly followed this rule, I have always taken my intentions to God and asked for his guidance in the situation(s) no matter the size.
Recently, my desires didn’t match up with God’s timing, and I was feeling pretty low. I knew his ways were higher and better, but it was still upsetting to not get what you want (anyone understand? haha). During my quiet time, I was talking to him, telling him that I was hurting. I told him I just wanted someone to affirm me, to call me beautiful, to see me and love me–I wanted to hear from him.
In my journal I wrote: “I want to crave truth and live with you. I wish we could text back and forth”
Immediately, God spoke to my heart, and I couldn’t help but cry from how he answered me and showed me his presence so fully:
// Things I like hearing from boys but that God also says to me //
- I love your heart
- I love you and your passion for serving the Lord (me) and loving his (my) people
- You are absolutely beautiful
- I see you worshipping, and I love to watch it. It is glorifying.
- You are funny; you make me laugh; you make me smile
- I’m proud of you and all you’re doing for the Lord (me)
- I care deeply for you
- You are an amazing person
- I can see the Holy Spirit in you
- I want to dance with you
- I want to hug, kiss, and hold you
- We are better together. stronger.
- You are different, set apart, holy, unique. There is no one else like you. (Romans 12:2)
- I love you; you are mine; I’m jealous of anyone who tries to take your heart (Exodus 20:5)
- You are doing great things; keep it up; it’s inspiring and life changing
- You are something else
- You are precious. You are treasure
- I want you
- You are my priority (Matthew 18:12)
- You are at the forefront of my thoughts (Psalm 139:17-18)
- I see you. Wow. You take my breath away
- You don’t have to try; I love you just as you are
- I wrote you letters (the Bible)
- I see your heart in all you do (Romans 8:27)
- I want to know you more and more
- You are loving, kind, strong, patient, joyful
- I want to spend time with you
- I am here for you
Follow up Prayer: “God, I love you. … You are all the love and affirmation I need … May I be so full of you that nothing else looks desirable. You are spectacular and glorious. Your glory is what makes my life beautiful—the best part of me is you”
God is the greatest romancer on Earth; he created love, so he knows it best. He knows the ways you feel most loved, he knows your heart and your many longings, he wants to fulfill your every need, he wants to shower you with blessing and fill your heart with joy. If you ask him to show you your value, he will. He will speak identity into you and wash you with his blood. You are his beloved; he gave everything for you. Your craving for love is supposed to lead you to him because, ultimately, only his perfect love can satisfy you.
If you are lonely, I would love to hang out and get lunch. I have too much free time; I want to spend it with you! I want to pray for you, do life with you, and pour into you! Let’s be friends! Reach out! You are loved not only by God but me too! You are in my thoughts and prayers right now (Sept. 18, 2019, 8:43PM), but even cooler is that God is loving you right know, as you read this, and as soon as you forget about this!
You are seen . You are loved . People may not tell you, but you are valuable . You are important to the King of the Universe, and, really, that’s all that matters.
Songs I’m listening to:
Books I’m reading:
Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge