I haven’t been struggling, but I’ve felt like I’ve been at a standstill. I don’t have as much fun as I used to and my classes just make me mad. I love FCA and church, but I haven’t been truly excited about much recently.
Everyone is so busy with school, and I am too, but it feels like there is something we are all missing. I constantly have to remind myself of the bigger, eternal picture. People are the purpose; serving them and showing them Jesus is what my true purpose is on earth.
I know this, but I feel stuck. I feel lazy because I feel like I’m not doing enough, but I feel overwhelmed because there are so many people I could pour into — where to start??
It’s hard to explain, but I just feel kind of deflated.
I have so many new friends this semester and have actually been in the library more than once, but I’m still struggling to know if it’s all worth my time. I’m trying to focus on what’s in front of me and growing in place, but sometimes I feel like I’m doing what’s convenient or easy, not necessarily what the Lord wants.
Is this my true purpose? Am I using my time well?
Recently, the Lord has answered with a pretty clear “Yes!”
I thought I would share some cool examples:
On November 14, I was feeling this uncertainty during my quiet time, and I prayed for God’s Word to reaffirm me and tell me if I was doing what he wanted (“I don’t feel like I’m living in your purpose. Give me a little sign to say you’ve still got me; Lord, I need some affirmation”).
The first thing I read was, “Beautiful words stir my heart” (Psalm 45:1). Not exactly what I meant, but he gave me what I asked for (he gave me the literal meaning of affirmation). God is funny like that. I couldn’t help but smile at his “little sign”
Words of affirmation are so powerful, especially when they come from the Lord. Ask him to speak life into you, and open your heart and eyes to see him respond. It might be different than what you expect, but he wants to let you know he’s there.
Yesterday, I felt like my old friends didn’t care enough to miss or be intentional with me (which honestly I say I want to be intentional but I’m bad at reaching out too). I prayed, “Help me be more intentional with my friends, but I want them to be intentional too” then later that day two of my sweet friends waited on me outside of class and then two more invited me to study with them after lunch. Oh my goodness. My heart. I could cry. I felt so loved, seen, and appreciated. They could have easily gone to their classes early or studied with less distraction, but instead they chose to invest in me–even in the smallest bit. Thanks God (and thanks friends).
God knows the desires of your heart and wants to answer your prayers. Don’t be afraid to ask for something as simple as time with friends.
Sometimes it’s so hard to tell if your on the right path, especially when there are so many options that you can make for yourself. Often when there doesn’t seem to be a clear path to take, I’m nervous that I am stepping out of God’s will and into my own worldly desires.
for example: who was I supposed to bring to my best friend’s wedding? I knew that I shouldn’t bring the one person in the world I want to bring. But the person I asked can’t go, so doesn’t that mean God was allowing me to invite the person I shouldn’t bring? I had a choice: I could interpret this to mean God was saying it was okay ask the person I shouldn’t, I could just ask someone else but possibly be rejected again, or I could believe this was God telling me to put my pride aside and just go solo. Which one was it? Maybe none of them. I don’t think there is/was a definitive answer. As my mom said, God allows us freedom to decide and we just have to do what we believe will bring him the most glory. Honestly, that was a hard day for me, but I trust that God will bless my decision because I made it with the intention of bringing glory to him. (I decided to go solo, so don’t be surprised when I don’t have a date in my pics haha)
So this morning, I was praying once again that I was walking on God’s path. I wrote, “Make the path to righteousness clear (even if it’s hard — I just want to know I am going where you want)” Then God literally spoke right back through Psalm 50: 23, “If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God”
Dang God okay. I get it. I’m doing what you want; I just need to trust you, and it will all work out.
Over and over, I ask him to tell me, and he does. Even though he isn’t saying what the end result is going to look like, he reminds me that if I follow him the best will come. He’s been showing me that I mean something to him (even if I’m at a weird place spiritually) He is still very much present even when I don’t see him (He’s working!!!).
Practically, I’m trying to do well in my classes, but if there is an opportunity to spend time with people, I pick them. Because big picture, the Lord and his people are the most important thing to pursue. My time is best used on others and not myself. In a world of greed, be generous. In a busy world, take time to love others. If someone comes into your mind, text them that you’re praying for them — you don’t even have to tell them to their face! Remember the eternal things; set your mind on the things above. Unashamedly, use the gifts the Lord has given you. Do not be afraid to speak his name; it will not come back void!! Little yeses lead to big opportunities! Say yes to what the Lord has put right in front of you!
Songs that encourage me in these types of feels: