Hey! It’s been a really long time — I haven’t posted in almost a year.

A lot has happened; I completed the internship of my dreams, got engaged to the man of my dreams, and graduated from the university of my dreams. Yet, I have been without words, waiting for the Lord to speak through me again.

I have questioned my purpose. A lot.

I applied to over 10 jobs, heard back from only a hand full, interviewed with three, and got an offer form one. For the last month or so, I felt like I settled for a job that I was overqualified for, had nothing to do with my purpose, and paid me less than ideal. BUT, since I started it three weeks ago, the Lord has been moving in my heart, affirming that for now, this is where I am meant to be.

Drum roll please…. I am a preschool teacher in Greenville!

All day long, I am surrounded by 18 (very loud) 3-4 year olds! It’s definitely not glamorous (I am essentially a glorified day care worker), but I have fallen in love with the kids that I am teaching.

During my interview process, I was asked what led me to their school. I didn’t know how to politely say that I was desperate and saw their job openings online. I told her about getting called into women’s ministry; she asked why I was applying for a nonreligious position with kids. That really hit me and I lost a little hope in that moment for the purpose I felt was laid on my life. I told her about how I have always been good with kids, and that Jesus loves kids.

Fast forward, I get hired, and the reality that I wouldn’t be able to tell these kids about Jesus begins to sink in. This breaks my heart. I can’t tell them about Jesus, but I can show them Jesus and pray that one day they will meet Him for themselves.

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Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these”

Luke 18:16 NIV

“Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Mark 9:37 NIV

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 ESV

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I was reflecting on the last three weeks — they’ve been hard, but they’ve been so good and I believe rewarding — and was praising God last week when my words about my kids reminded me of God’s words about us (His kids). This is my heart for my preschoolers, but this is ultimately God’s heart for them through me.

I knew that the Lord wanted me to share these words with you because they are literally from Him to you too.

The Father’s heart for his kids:

I love them wholeheartedly.

I want to always show them patience and understanding (Psalm 86:15)

I want them to feel seen and heard (Genesis 16:13).

I treat them with unconditional love and kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).

I want them to respect my words and obey my requests

I get down on their level, so they aren’t intimidated by my looming stature.

I know so much more than them. I know what growing up is like and know the consequences and results of certain choices and scenarios (Philippians 2:7).

They can’t hear me over the sounds of their own voices, noises, and distractions — they have to pay close to my whispers to hear my secrets (1 Kings 19:12, Deuteronomy 29:29).

I want so much good for them, but they do not understand my intentions… yet (James 1:17). Some of them have come to know my heart; I’ve built trust with them, but will they obey me entirely (Proverbs 3:5-6)? I was kind before; won’t I be kind again? I was right before; won’t I be right again (Philippians 1:6)?

I hold authority — it’s in my title, “Teacher” (Matthew 4:23). But I always want to sit on their level, showing them the way — what a good life looks like — what obedience, respect, and submission look like (John 14:6, John 14:12).

I dance with them, showing them how life can be fun — how I’m fun too and what them to experience joy (Romans 12:15).

I want them to learn forgiveness — to receive it and give it (77 times).

I want to break down the walls around their hearts (Ezekiel 36:26).

I want them to open their eyes and ears to what’s going on around them (Matthew 13:15)

I want them to learn, create, and love.

I want them to be curious, ask questions, and tell stories — to dream dreams.

I want to be the one they run to when they are hurt. I want to clean and bandage their wounds (Psalm 147:3, Psalm 51:7). I want to kiss their cheeks and make them laugh amongst the tears (Revelation 21:4). I will run to their rescue when they cry out (Psalm 34:6)

I don’t want them to have an accident, but when they do, I am gracious, helping them out of their soiled clothes and into fresh linens (Isaiah 61:10, Ephesians 4:22-24). I want to guard their hearts and their minds (and their bodies, Deuteronomy 6:5)

Even during the worst tantrums and fits of anger against me, “I love you anyways.”

I will remain stedfast, loving them despite the circumstances. I will be faithful even though they are not (2 Timothy 2:13). They are so little and don’t understand, but one day they will (John 13:7).

I want them to know that everything I do for them — the reason I am there all day everyday — is because I LOVE them (John 3:16, Deuteronomy 31:8).

I want them to eat until their bellies are full (John 6:35). I want their thirsts to be quenched (John 4:14). I want them to rest peacefully after I tuck them in, knowing they are being safely watched (Psalms 121:3-8). I want them to heal physically and spiritually when they are hurt. I want them to take risks — to be bold and courageous. I want them to know my name — I know them by name (Isaiah 43:1, John 10:14-15).

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These kids need me. They would not be able to survive without adult guidance — they are reliant and desperate. It’s the same with God and us; we need Him. We cannot survive on our own, not matter how independent we like to think we are — not matter how “big” we get. We can’t do this life on our own. We try to grow up so fast, but we are meant to need our Father.

He has … set eternity in the human heart

Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV

Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.

1 Peter 2:2-3 ESV

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3 NIV

Something I have realized about kids is that they all think an open lap is theirs to sit in — even if you’re not trying to hold them — even if someone else is occupying a lap — they think it’s meant for them. I think that’s what child-like faith is supposed to look like. God’s lap is meant for us to sit in — to rest and retreat in, to hear a story in, to find comfort and love.

Embrace your identity as child; tear down the walls you’ve built up around yourself; stop trying to lead yourself.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light

Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Know that the Lord loves you and may that reality lead you to submission, obedience, and trust. Find satisfaction in Him. Lean in, and don’t be afraid.

Go to Him little child; He welcomes you.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:14-16 NIV

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As always, I love you and am praying for you.

Below is the song “Run To The Father” by Cody Carnes.

Feel free to reach out for anything ❤